Cenquartsuglik is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, prudent jaguar.

Cenquartsuglik created a down quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Cenquartsuglik, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cenquartsuglik, she will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Cenquartsuglik's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Cenquartsuglik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Cenquartsuglik.