Kadjaphin is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, calm dingo.

Kadjaphin created vertebrates two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kadjaphin, it will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Kadjaphin, it will have a very low opinion of you.

Kadjaphin's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Kadjaphin's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear jumpers.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never play with disobedient children.