Sakbomtim is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, blissful warg.

Sakbomtim created the Sun six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Sakbomtim, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sakbomtim, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Sakbomtim's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Sakbomtim's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Sakbomtim.

2. Sharks are not to be trusted.

3. Never wear purple rings.

4. Run away from cyan geese, for they are unholy.

5. Always take life seriously.