Dubfarnhinzig is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, amazing donkey.

Dubfarnhinzig created matter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dubfarnhinzig, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dubfarnhinzig, it will make you grow a tail.

Dubfarnhinzig's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Dubfarnhinzig's Holy Commandments

1. Always help manatees.

2. Do not kill tapirs.

3. Never write about moons.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.