Pangxemflig is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, self-confident hyena.

Pangxemflig created the Cigar Galaxy two billion years ago.

If you believe in Pangxemflig, she will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Pangxemflig, she will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Pangxemflig's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Pangxemflig's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. You must pray to Pangxemflig six times a day.

4. Do not sit in public.

5. Retreat if four moths approach from the east.