Ripjopvab is a god.

It takes the form of a four thousand metre long, overgenerous parrot.

Ripjopvab created a top quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ripjopvab, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Ripjopvab, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Ripjopvab's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Ripjopvab's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate snakes.

2. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always help mice in need.

5. Ripjopvab must be the most important thing in your life.