Hogcub is a god.

She takes the form of a very small, weak manatee.

Hogcub created everything that exists nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hogcub, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Hogcub, she will turn you into a puffin.

Hogcub's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Hogcub's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven sharks approach from the south.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Hogcub.

3. You must love Hogcub.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

5. Put Hogcub first in all things.