Gumkonfon is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, almighty donkey.

Gumkonfon created the solar system nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gumkonfon, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gumkonfon, he will turn you into a hamster.

Gumkonfon's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Gumkonfon's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about gravity.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Do not wear tin on your body.

5. Never feed bread to hamsters while wearing fawn boots.