Sugmilxuc is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, humorless cow.

Sugmilxuc created dark matter seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Sugmilxuc, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Sugmilxuc, it will manifest in front of you.

Sugmilxuc's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Sugmilxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not kill geese.