Kanappbass is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, all-powerful hippopotamus.

Kanappbass created a quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Kanappbass, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Kanappbass, it will turn you into a rat.

Kanappbass' most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Kanappbass' Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never write about amino acids.

5. Kanappbass loves capybaras, so they must be honoured.