Saffabtaf is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, unthoughtful wolf.

Saffabtaf created a top quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Saffabtaf, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Saffabtaf, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Saffabtaf's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Saffabtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never write about the strong nuclear force.