Fumbopstrag Fommetzed is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, merciless bird.

Fumbopstrag Fommetzed created humanity five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fumbopstrag Fommetzed, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fumbopstrag Fommetzed, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Fumbopstrag Fommetzed's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Fumbopstrag Fommetzed's Holy Commandments

1. Erect five silver sculptures of Fumbopstrag Fommetzed on top of important buildings.

2. Always help tapirs in need.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Worship no other gods but Fumbopstrag Fommetzed.

5. Ants are not to be trusted.