Stafkonved is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, capable snake.

Stafkonved created a charm quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Stafkonved, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Stafkonved, it will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Stafkonved's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Stafkonved's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about amino acids.

2. Always treat voles with great respect.

3. Never talk about bats.

4. Always look after injured swans.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.