Wikbunpaksak is a god.

She takes the form of a blubbery, fussy alligator.

Wikbunpaksak created time and space three million years ago.

If you believe in Wikbunpaksak, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Wikbunpaksak, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Wikbunpaksak's most sacred site is Aguaruto in Mexico.

Wikbunpaksak's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large copper sculpture of Wikbunpaksak on top of all buildings.

2. Do not eat lentils.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Do not hurt snakes.