Lamnabgep is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, ill-tempered beaver.

Lamnabgep created a top quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lamnabgep, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Lamnabgep, she will turn you into a giant slug.

Lamnabgep's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Lamnabgep's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Do not stand on grass.

3. Never eat bread.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. You must never eat figs.