Bepstig is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, slow mouse.

Bepstig created the planet Earth five billion years ago.

If you believe in Bepstig, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bepstig, it will turn you into a snail.

Bepstig's most sacred site is Sanabo in Egypt.

Bepstig's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not kill geese.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate snails.

4. Put Bepstig first in all things.

5. Pray towards the north.