Hotyikteenveennurlcar is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, all-powerful horse.

Hotyikteenveennurlcar created the Tadpole Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hotyikteenveennurlcar, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hotyikteenveennurlcar, he will turn you into a dog.

Hotyikteenveennurlcar's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Hotyikteenveennurlcar's Holy Commandments

1. Tortoises are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Hotyikteenveennurlcar.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

4. You must pray to Hotyikteenveennurlcar eight times a day.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.