Dutbapquim is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, self-confident beaver.

Dutbapquim created a Higgs boson six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dutbapquim, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Dutbapquim, it will turn you into a sheep.

Dutbapquim's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Dutbapquim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Do not eat onions.

3. You must love Dutbapquim.

4. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

5. Never laugh in the presence of swans.