Bemgarmincan is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, caring badger.

Bemgarmincan created viruses four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bemgarmincan, he will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bemgarmincan, he will turn you into a goat.

Bemgarmincan's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Bemgarmincan's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt hamsters.

2. Never wear fawn tights.

3. Do not dye your hair blue.

4. Never jump in the presence of sharks.

5. Never laugh in holy places.