Basslenpanlogyakquart is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, fussy aardvark.

Basslenpanlogyakquart created the Small Magellanic Cloud seven million years ago.

If you believe in Basslenpanlogyakquart, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Basslenpanlogyakquart, he will be very sad.

Basslenpanlogyakquart's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Basslenpanlogyakquart's Holy Commandments

1. Basslenpanlogyakquart loves ducks, so they must be honoured.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Erect five carbon sculptures of Basslenpanlogyakquart on top of important buildings.

4. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.

5. Never write about gravity.