Venvolbog is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, temperamental squid.

Venvolbog created snails eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Venvolbog, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Venvolbog, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Venvolbog's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Venvolbog's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if seven squirrels approach from the north.

2. Erect a large titanium sculpture of Venvolbog on top of all buildings.

3. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

4. Never skip in holy places.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.