Paslistzan is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, narcissistic hamster.

Paslistzan created water eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Paslistzan, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Paslistzan, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Paslistzan's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Paslistzan's Holy Commandments

1. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Do not jump in public.

3. Always treat rats with great respect.

4. Feed all hungry dogs.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Paslistzan.