Barnmonxuc is a god.

He takes the form of a galaxy-sized, idiotic frog.

Barnmonxuc created the world twelve years ago.

If you believe in Barnmonxuc, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Barnmonxuc, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Barnmonxuc's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Barnmonxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not drink water in red rooms.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never hurt snakes.