Ditmobbut is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, witless porpoise.

Ditmobbut created silver nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ditmobbut, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Ditmobbut, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Ditmobbut's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Ditmobbut's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat lemons.

2. Never think ill of sick mites.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Never wear scarves.

5. Always help birds in need.