Mutvegtim is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, narcissistic narwhal.

Mutvegtim created a strange quark seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Mutvegtim, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Mutvegtim, he will not care at all.

Mutvegtim's most sacred site is Issigeac in France.

Mutvegtim's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no horses in a building before entering it.

2. Worship no other gods but Mutvegtim.

3. Your children must be taught to worship Mutvegtim.

4. Retreat if six ducks approach from the north.

5. Always pray immersed in water.