Femladwad is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, slow hamster.

Femladwad created an up quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Femladwad, she will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Femladwad, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Femladwad's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Femladwad's Holy Commandments

1. Always obey Femladwad's priests.

2. Never go into black rooms.

3. Never write about gravity.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate swans.

5. Never talk about planets.