Tonkwipgom is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, moody shark.

Tonkwipgom created the Small Magellanic Cloud two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonkwipgom, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Tonkwipgom, it will turn you into a goat.

Tonkwipgom's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Tonkwipgom's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Do not eat bananas.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never mention snails.

5. Retreat if nine doves approach from the west.