Arfvidxucdid is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, wise zebra.

Arfvidxucdid created the cosmos nine million years ago.

If you believe in Arfvidxucdid, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Arfvidxucdid, he will make you grow a tail.

Arfvidxucdid's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Arfvidxucdid's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

2. Always help sick eagles.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never mention shrews.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Arfvidxucdid.