Fubfentarp is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, unselfish guinea pig.

Fubfentarp created viruses four billion years ago.

If you believe in Fubfentarp, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Fubfentarp, she will not care.

Fubfentarp's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Fubfentarp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always make sure there are no tapirs in a building before entering it.

3. Never wear mauve stockings.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

5. Never write about the weak nuclear force.