Zanwighubcimpigbap Gabsadfun Futwegved is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, omniscient pigeon.

Zanwighubcimpigbap Gabsadfun Futwegved created a top quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Zanwighubcimpigbap Gabsadfun Futwegved, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Zanwighubcimpigbap Gabsadfun Futwegved, it will turn you into a rock.

Zanwighubcimpigbap Gabsadfun Futwegved's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Zanwighubcimpigbap Gabsadfun Futwegved's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Worship no other gods but Zanwighubcimpigbap Gabsadfun Futwegved.

3. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not bounce in public.