Cubcetkip is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, smart salamander.

Cubcetkip created a down quark eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cubcetkip, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Cubcetkip, she will curse you and those you beget for twenty six billion years.

Cubcetkip's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Cubcetkip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

2. Do not wear zinc on your body.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Worship no other gods but Cubcetkip.