Venkancim is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, egotistical manatee.

Venkancim created water five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Venkancim, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Venkancim, she will curse you with boils.

Venkancim's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Venkancim's Holy Commandments

1. Put Venkancim first in all things.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.