Nuttmaddavhad is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, omniscient chicken.

Nuttmaddavhad created light eight million years ago.

If you believe in Nuttmaddavhad, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Nuttmaddavhad, he will boil you in a big pot.

Nuttmaddavhad's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Nuttmaddavhad's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about galaxies.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never talk about amino acids.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not trade with those who eat turnips.