Witzedtal is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, unfair ferret.

Witzedtal created the world six billion years ago.

If you believe in Witzedtal, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Witzedtal, it will jump up and down on your head until it really hurts.

Witzedtal's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Witzedtal's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear zinc on your body.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not speak about cucumbers.

5. Do not kill aardvarks.