Cipnatlag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, clever tapir.

Cipnatlag created a top quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Cipnatlag, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Cipnatlag, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Cipnatlag's most sacred site is Utti in Finland.

Cipnatlag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink alcohol.

2. Always obey Cipnatlag's priests.

3. Never wear stockings.

4. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Cipnatlag.