Ganstafcad is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, quiet jaguar.

Ganstafcad created humanity nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ganstafcad, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Ganstafcad, he will strike you with lightening.

Ganstafcad's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Ganstafcad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about birds.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Never hurt turtles.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.