Inglistweeladfumgarpark is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, idiotic gorilla.

Inglistweeladfumgarpark created life eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Inglistweeladfumgarpark, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Inglistweeladfumgarpark, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Inglistweeladfumgarpark's most sacred site is Kerris in England.

Inglistweeladfumgarpark's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. You must pray to Inglistweeladfumgarpark six times a day.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Inglistweeladfumgarpark must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Pray towards the south.