Dammonwee is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, narcissistic chicken.

Dammonwee created Europe four million years ago.

If you believe in Dammonwee, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Dammonwee, she will attempt to scare you with floods.

Dammonwee's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Dammonwee's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat frogs with great respect.

2. Never laugh near foxes.

3. Do not eat limes.

4. Walk at least eight thousand metres per day.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.