Tunfat is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, bad-tempered octopus.

Tunfat created a top quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Tunfat, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Tunfat, she will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Tunfat's most sacred site is Grimme in Germany.

Tunfat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear indigo clothing.

2. Tunfat loves porpoises, so they must be respected.

3. Erect a large lead sculpture of Tunfat on top of all buildings.

4. Run away from violet horses, for they are unholy.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.