Kopjamfar is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, uncaring raccoon.

Kopjamfar created the planet Venus four million years ago.

If you believe in Kopjamfar, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kopjamfar, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Kopjamfar's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Kopjamfar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shave your face.

2. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Kopjamfar must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.