Flabgovcap is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, humane rat.

Flabgovcap created a Higgs boson six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabgovcap, he will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Flabgovcap, he will turn you into a dog.

Flabgovcap's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Flabgovcap's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of otters.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. You must love Flabgovcap.

5. Never think ill of sick whales.