Xingatjin is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, almighty tapir.

Xingatjin created an up quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Xingatjin, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Xingatjin, it will remove you from existence.

Xingatjin's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Xingatjin's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always wear fawn.