Vadlopbemkem is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, fussy wyvern.

Vadlopbemkem created the solar system three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Vadlopbemkem, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Vadlopbemkem, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Vadlopbemkem's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Vadlopbemkem's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Always help eagles in need.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always make sure there are no snails in a building before entering it.

5. Never eat bark.