Natpiggov is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, unthoughtful giraffe.

Natpiggov created energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Natpiggov, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Natpiggov, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Natpiggov's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Natpiggov's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about nuts.

2. Do not wear carbon on your body.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Natpiggov.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.