Gadrowpark is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, ruthless swan.

Gadrowpark created snails nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gadrowpark, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Gadrowpark, she will be very sad.

Gadrowpark's most sacred site is Oitti in Finland.

Gadrowpark's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Always wear red.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Do not dye your hair mauve.