Flatfossgadnig is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, vain alligator.

Flatfossgadnig created an up quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Flatfossgadnig, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Flatfossgadnig, he will turn you into a worm.

Flatfossgadnig's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Flatfossgadnig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never talk about bats.

3. Run away from yellow pigs, for they are unholy.

4. Never wear white shoes.

5. Never talk about nebulae.