Sawbarn is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, ruthless chicken.

Sawbarn created an up quark five billion years ago.

If you believe in Sawbarn, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Sawbarn, it will try to impress you with trees.

Sawbarn's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Sawbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Sawbarn loves capybaras, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Never write about gravity.