Zimkimflisbid Tuncetcaptonflam is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, grumpy alligator.

Zimkimflisbid Tuncetcaptonflam created water five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zimkimflisbid Tuncetcaptonflam, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Zimkimflisbid Tuncetcaptonflam, she will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Zimkimflisbid Tuncetcaptonflam's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Zimkimflisbid Tuncetcaptonflam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in pink rooms.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Zimkimflisbid Tuncetcaptonflam.

3. Always look after injured hamsters.

4. Never paint your arms purple.

5. Never play with disobedient children.