Yakhivfod is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, omnipotent frog.

Yakhivfod created a top quark eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yakhivfod, it will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Yakhivfod, it will refuse to believe in you.

Yakhivfod's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Yakhivfod's Holy Commandments

1. Always help tortoises in need.

2. Always treat pigs with great respect.

3. Gulls are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.