Bopsancun is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly fat, generous swallow.

Bopsancun created the planet Jupiter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bopsancun, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bopsancun, he will cry a lot.

Bopsancun's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Bopsancun's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Bopsancun loves shrews, so they must be respected.

4. Erect nine aluminium sculptures of Bopsancun on top of important buildings.

5. Feed all hungry squirrels.